Monday, May 13, 2013

mother's day

yesterday was Mother's Day.  my very first Mother's Day.  the sound of it is still so strange to my ears.  am i really old enough for this?

i wanted to show up to church put together with my hair curled and a decent outfit on in celebration of this special day.  instead, nursing dictated what i could wear (which ended up being embarrassingly wrinkled with no time to remedy that) and my hair was left to lay how it fell from when i collapsed into bed with it wet last night and both Hazel and i ended up wearing spit-up before we could get a decent picture together. as much as these trivial things wanted to cause me to call into question my abilities as a mother, i managed to laugh them off and call the day perfect. 

perfect that i had my beautiful, healthy daughter to fall asleep on my chest.  perfect that i had my husband there to kiss and congratulate me.  perfect that i had my in-laws treat me to my first ever Mother's Day brunch.  perfect that my own mother (and incredible example) was in town and managed to make me cry with just a few simple words in a card.

i don't know that i have my head wrapped around this thing called motherhood yet.  the holiday almost seems a little premature to me this time around (with the pains of childbirth still lingering).  what i do know about motherhood, even early on, is that i love this child.  wholeheartedly, unquestionably, L.O.V.E this child.  i know now that to be filled with this kind of love, by no doing of my own, is the greatest privilege a parent can have.  to understand what my own parents felt/feel about me is overwhelming!  completely overwhelming.

i feel like the luckiest girl in the world yesterday, today and all of the days to come with this child of mine.  hazel belle, thank you for making me a mother.

No comments:

Post a Comment